last day in parla

Oh my! I am so sad.

I am sitting in our empty living room, waiting on Pilar to come with the car to pick me up. I thought I would be able to transport the remains of my life by train (we moved all the furniture yesterday with the help of four whistling uncles..) but as it turns out I have really planted myself in the ground here. How is it that I always accumulate so many goddamn things?

I only lived in Parla for five months, but I would say that´s enough to become attached. Especially because this apartment is adorable, and the neighborhood homey. I don´t know why I always do this to myself...make roots somewhere just to pull them out after a short while. Thus "Where are you from?" has become one of the more difficult questions for me to answer. The response since I´ve been here in Spain is San Francisco, because, well, where else am I from? The bay area has been the only constant location throughout my life, so I suppose it´s somewhat true. Some say home is where your mom is, which is not a bad rule to go by. But then I think...North Carolina? I may as well say I am from Japan.

Anway, it´s nice to be free, but it has its costs. Maybe you are envious...maybe your life is far beyond uprooting and though happy, you dream of leaving everything for a new adventure. But don´t kid yourself. I feel like I sacrifice quite a bit for this "freedom"..but when else will I have it if not while I am young?

Then there is the nostalgia for all the little lives I have created and abandoned along the way...even during those not-so-great of times and places. I have made a list of the most horrible (and best--I am not a pessimist!) human feelings, and after regret and guilt, nostalgia comes in number three. Intense nostalgia is a horrible feeling, and sometimes I think it is going to swallow me whole.

Well I am headed back to Pilar and Marcelo´s house for my last three weeks of school. Moving back in with "the folks" is never cool, but I have to admit, of all the relatives I could possibly live with, they would be my first choice. And that´s not just because they live in Spain.

Anyway, so-long Parla...it´s been real.